T-shirt Hell

the new shirts from T-shirt hell, i don't know who comes up with this crap, but this kid has an amazing imagination and well....a lot of time on his hands...
What follows is only an excerpt of the actual email newsletter thing he sent:

A List of People I Don't Like, and Some That I Do-------------------------------------------------------------
A lot of people who are not as good as me, accuse me of being arrogant.It's true I don't have much respect for most people, but I do respect a few.Here is a list of some of those people. For the people I don't respect, I've included some helpful hints on how to get their sorry lives back on track!

I'm tired of the Pope. Fuck you, and the Pope Mobile you rode in on. ThePope Mobile is a fucking Range Rover on chrome dubs you arrogant pimp;aren't you supposed to be feeding the children or something like that?Speaking of children, you might as well be President of NAMBLA you fuckingimpotent pervert. And you don't believe people should be allowed to haveabortions or use birth control? Make up your mind because you have to givethe people something. What are they supposed to do, have babies?There's no hope for you. Step down and let Al Sharpton be Pope. He wouldgive the Catholic Church serious street cred and whip it back into shape.Perhaps he would even merge it with the Nation of Islam. Those Nation of Islamguys would clear out all of the perverts in about ten minutes. After that,Pope Sharpton could let them all eat bacon again and I'm sure that wouldmellow those psychos out. Al Sharpton could fix the Catholic Church and TheNation of Islam all by himself.

Angelina Jolie you need to stop yapping about Third World countries and take your top off. Will someone please slide their thick cock between those full lips and shut her up already? Give back that dirty little foreign baby and devote your life to adult film.

The people fighting to keep Terri Schiavo alive need to find a hobby.Congress wants to pass laws to protect vegetables like her? I just hope theydon't pass any laws that cover my garden because I was hoping to have asalad for lunch. Congress needs to do something useful like pass moretax cuts for the rich, specifically rich people in the dirty t-shirtindustry.

Donald Trump needs to go away. It's popular to make fun of Donald Trump'shair, and wonder why he doesn't fix it. Because Donald Trump knows it's hisgiant pumpkin head that's the real problem. His smoking hot new wife can'tstand the sight of him. She will only let him take her from behind,provided he wears a bag over his head, they're at the bottom of a mineshaft, and she is provided with a welder's mask. Donald, take some of thatmoney you were going to use to put gold leaf under your wallpaper, and buyBrad Pitt's empty head, and put your brain in it. Your TV show sucks. Theonly good thing about it is that eventually all of the morons that you hirefrom this show, to help run your company, will drive it into the ground. I can't believe you fired the girl with the big tits.

Now on to the people I respect...

I respect Ricky Gervais who created and starred in, "The Office". Yes, itis kind of whorish to take money to help produce the steaming turd that isthe American version, but Ricky's a fucking genius and deserves to make somereal, American cash. I'm sure they paid him in quid, or crumpets, or someother shit for the British version and he deserves better.

I respect Jimmy Carter. Fuck you I do.

I respect Larry David, who admittedly has too much money to still beworking. But, "Curb Your Enthusiasm" is brilliant so please don't stop.I respect Al Roker who is not only an unsung comic genius; he also lostabout 300lbs with only minor medical assistance. Plus, he also predicts thefuture (weather) with uncanny accuracy and speaks to the dead. In your faceJohn Edwards!

I respect the Kirstie Alley/John Travolta creature. I know a lot of peoplestill don't believe they are the same person. They point to all of the,"Look Who's Talking" Movies. Well I saw "The Nutty Professor" and in onescene there were 6 Eddie Murphys sitting around the table so that doesn'tprove shit. This bloated he/she created by the Scientologists should havevanished back into the bowels of the Chrysler Building after, "Cheers". Butsomehow it keeps reinventing itself, most recently "playing" a washed upoverweight actress. I'm not a fan of the show, or even the concept, but thefact that you can get that show made deserves respect.